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COSA DE CAMPESINOS 01-07-2021
JUAN Y MARIA ERAN 2 JOVENES CAMPESINOS QUE ANDABAN CAMINANDO
POR EL CAMPO, DE PRONTO MARIA SE DETIENE Y LE PREGUNTA A JUAN:
-- OYE JUAN COMO SABE EL BURRO CUANDO LA MULA QUIERE ACCION?
--Y JUAN LE RESPONDE -- POR EL OLOR, MARIA. SIGUEN CAMINANDO Y SE VUELVE A DETENER MARIA Y LE PREGUNTA
A JUAN: -- OYE JUAN Y COMO SABE EL TORO CUANDO LA VACA QUIERE? -- Y JUAN LE RESPONDE: -- POR EL OLOR, MARIA. ...
8 Reacties, 5942 Bezichtigingen,
295 Stemmen
,2.99 Score |
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a called sex 23-06-2021
Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover"
or "Spot".
I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license,
I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then
I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said,
"You don't ...
6 Reacties, 322 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,2.56 Score |
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code 24-06-2021
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code"
to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
<br>
One day the husband told his five year old , "Go
tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
<br>
The told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded,
"Tell your daddy that he ...
2 Reacties, 226 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,3.14 Score |
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Dark Closet 25-06-2021
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover
comes over, she
puts her nine year old in the closet. One day the woman
hears a car in
the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.
<br>
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's
dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is, " the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks, " the man ...
1 Reacties, 199 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,2.79 Score |
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Family Fun 29-06-2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Honey, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW ...
0 Reacties, 194 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,1.30 Score |
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A Slighty Confused 24-06-2021
A comes home from school and asks her mother "Is
it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same
place where boys put their dicks?" "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that
the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have
to explain it to her . "But then when I have a baby, " responded the
"won't it knock my teeth out?"
1 Reacties, 184 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,3.48 Score |
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Take Your Choice 23-06-2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB....
3 or ...
1 Reacties, 184 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,4.41 Score |
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Lawyer Cross-Examines a Cop 23-06-2021
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer
during a felony trial. It went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching
the description of the offender running several blocks
away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. ...
7 Reacties, 183 Bezichtigingen,
28 Stemmen
,4.78 Score |
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Control de tráfico 01-07-2021
Un condutor es detendido en un control de tráfico. El policía
le explica que están ensayando un nuevo sistema para detectar
conductores que hallan ingerido alcohol mediante una
serie de sencillas preguntas a las que él debe responder.
La primera pregunta es:
<br>
- Si usted circula por el interior de un túnel sin iluminación
y ve a lo lejos dos faros que se acercan hacia ...
1 Reacties, 160 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,4.48 Score |
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Dumbest 26-06-2021
As a young boy enters a barber shop the barber whispers to
his customer's. This is the dumbest in the world. Watch while I prove
it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters
in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which
do you want, ?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That
never learns!" ...
1 Reacties, 137 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,3.47 Score |
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little boy 29-06-2021
“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards
and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom,
what is shit?" and she says, ...
4 Reacties, 134 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,5.32 Score |
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When 24-06-2021
Judge asked , "So when did you realize
you were ?"
replied, wiping her tears, "When the
check bounced."
3 Reacties, 132 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,2.80 Score |
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Mensa Question 29-06-2021
You are on a , galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off.
And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same
speed as you.
Directly in front of you is another galloping but
your is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the
in front of you.
What must you do to safely get ...
1 Reacties, 131 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,3.80 Score |
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RETIRED 25-06-2021
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on
her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate,
my wife is like most women - she loves to browse, so I had to
learn to while away my time.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
the local Target:
Dear Mrs. ...
1 Reacties, 130 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,4.80 Score |
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Cute 23-06-2021
A NAMED SEX
Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover"
or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been
very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew
the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like
a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one
too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He
said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You
don't ...
2 Reacties, 129 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,4.50 Score |
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Smart Ass ! 25-06-2021
There was this guy who was in love with his wife but his job
took up a lot of his time. One Sunday afternoon, his wife
came home and said the boys were out playing, and maybe they
should do some playing of their own. The man thought about this and decided she was right. He embraced her and they began to kiss passionately. She
felt him getting hard and said he'd best be getting
that condom on and ...
3 Reacties, 125 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,4.06 Score |
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Take Your Choice 26-06-2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB....
3 or ...
0 Reacties, 118 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.43 Score |
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Shark lesions. 06-02-2022
The young shark swam up to his dad and said, “Dad I want
to do something fun today!” The dad turned and asked his
, “Do you see that capsized ship and the people in the water over there?” The turned
and said yes. The dad replied, “well were going to swim over there and while swimming around those
people we are going to show them the tip of our fins.” The
, excited followed his dad ...
2 Reacties, 114 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,3.81 Score |
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Catholic school girls 24-10-2021
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic girls and
they all perish. They r n heaven trying 2 enter the pearly
gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, ' Tami, have
you ever had any contact with a naughty organ? '
She giggles and shyly replies, Well i once touched the head
of one with the tip of my finger. ' He says okay dip the
tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through ...
1 Reacties, 105 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,4.50 Score |
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Crisis 01-07-2021
Era un matrimonio que tenía problemas de dinero y la crisis
obligó a la mujer a prostituirse.
La esposa muy confundida le dice: Pepe, ¡Pero yo no sé
nada de eso!
Y él le dice: Cuando tengas alguna duda sólo me preguntas,
yo estaré detrás del poste.
Así quedaron.
Llegó a primera noche y la mujer se vistió bien apretadita,
una faldita corta, medias de ...
2 Reacties, 87 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,5.10 Score |
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MUJERES VENGATIVAS 1 01-07-2021
Hoy mi hija cumple 21 años...
y estoy muy contento porque es el último pago de pensión
alimenticia que le doy, así que llamé a mi hijita para que
viniera a mi casa y cuando llegó le dije:
++ Hijita, quiero que lleves este cheque a casa de tu mamá
y que le digas que: ¡¡¡Este es el último maldito cheque que va recibir de mí
en todo lo que le queda de ...
1 Reacties, 85 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,4.57 Score |
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Deer Roping 26-06-2021
Deer Roping > I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
in a stall,
> feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it
and eat it. The
> first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured
that since
> they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
to have much fear
> of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come
right up and ...
0 Reacties, 77 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
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Three cheesy jokes that we all know and love.... 25-06-2021
1) If you have sex with a person without their consent, it
is called ....so if you have sex with a without
her consent, is it called , or shoplifting?
2) What kind of pleasure does a Priest get? ANSWER: Nun
3) If you have sex with someone and get a disease, you are
said to have an STD.....so if you jerk off to massive amounts
of porn on your computer and your ...
2 Reacties, 77 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,1.47 Score |
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LIL' JOHNNY 29-06-2021
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed
4-year-old Little Johnny standing wide-eyed at the fence,
soaking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm
gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No
need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll
answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his
and said, ...
0 Reacties, 71 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.43 Score |
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CATHOLIC HORSES???? 24-06-2021
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and
all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped
out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the
horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that - a very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch
watched with interest the old priest step onto the ...
0 Reacties, 58 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,4.41 Score |
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EL PERRO, EL MONO Y LA PANTERA 01-07-2021
Cierta vez un perro se interna en la selva y se pierde en ella.
Una pantera lo vío, pero no sabía que animal era, y decide
cazarlo, el perro se percata de la presencia de la pantera
lleno de miedo la ve acercarse y no sabe que hacer, de pronto
descubre los huesos de un animal muerto y pone en marcha
un plan.
Se colóca de espaldas a la pantera y empieza a lamer los huesos. ...
3 Reacties, 44 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,5.10 Score |
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little girls....... 16-10-2021
why do little girls their eyes in the morning? <br><br>
because they dont have balls to scratch
3 Reacties, 43 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,4.10 Score |
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Moral of the story 29-06-2021
On the farm lived a chicken and a , both of whom loved
to play together. One day, the two were playing when the
fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life,
the whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for
help!Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at
the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to
no avail, for he had gone to town with the only ...
0 Reacties, 33 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.92 Score |
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Just for points 28-12-2022
👍
1 Reacties, 14 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,5.00 Score |
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Just for points, that all 08-04-2022
Just for , that all
2 Reacties, 9 Bezichtigingen,
0 Stemmen
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